Remember

How about those nights we spent

Were my lips to you only for rent?

The laughs we shared, the smiles I sent,

Was this all just entertainment?

Love so strong, lies so believable.

Did not know my heart was capable.

Thinking of you, pain does sear.

Someone new for me is near.

                                   <3

To be the One

I want to be the one, the woman, that you come home to from work every night. The woman who cooks you supper and washes your clothes. I want to be the one who cleans house in a French maid skirt just so you can rip it off when you come in the door. I want to be the one you curl up on the couch with on rainy days and watch a movie. I want to be the woman who has children with you and one day, eventually, spoils grandchildren with you. But, mostly...I just want to be the one woman you love unconditionally until the end of time, plus one more day.

Decision

okay, so I wrote this a while back and found it going through some paperwork...

He reached out and gently caressed my hand
His heart, his arms, I feel the ecstasy.
He smiled, telling me where I soon will land.
The words he speaks, are pure eloquencey.
Next thing I know he is down on one knee
Time stands emotionally still. His heart, my key.
For our age, is this precise decorum?
Yes! explodes from my heart, stops at the lips,
No. slips off my tongue. I need to be free.
His countenance shows this was not his script.
Through his eager eyes I am meant to see,
Our love so true, it can last a lifetime.
Waiting a while, would it be such a crime?

<3

me? afraid? really...?

My dad told me the other day I was afraid of change. That statement, hit me like a ton of bricks, to say the least. Never in my life would I have thought I, Jennifer Justice, would be afraid of change... The Jennifer Justice I used to know was never scared of an adventure. She was always open to whatever the next step in life brought upon her. But now, I just feel so unsure.

How can I leave, walk away, move? I love "my girls" and I am so attached to being there for them. I absolutely adore all the time I spend with them...I have family here, I have my Tushie Face, I have friends (even if most are coupled off and leaving me single). I have a church who supports me, and I have a life...

But,

How can I stay? Isn't the way that I escape is by running...the new start, the no one knows your history, the I can be anything I want to be...isn't that the exciting part? The part that drives me? I'm an adventure, risk taker, I'm an individualist, I am not the ordinary girl so many people have tried to make me. So how can I even be considering settling here? Aren't I the girl who wanted to travel her whole life, who wanted to see everything...big and small. I always believed in there being more life out there than what was right in front of me. Yet, maybe I like what is right in front of me...

"Do what you want to do." This phrase keeps getting said to me over and over and over again. But I don't know what I want. Part of me wants to just pack my car and hit the rode and be spontaneous and ridiculous...but then the other part of me wants to just stay right here, where everything is at least semi stable. I just don't know what I want right now...but then again in a way I do?

just a dream.

sometimes I believe running away would just be easier than facing reality...Will you just run away with me? Let's start our own life togehter. Just us. Always and forever, boo. Oh, if it would only work...if we could stay hidden until the end of forever. Happily ever after in love and living in happy.

& she missed him, terribly

There she was, sitting in his parents house. Even though he was gone and his room was now empty, she still came over two or three times a week to study and just visit. Secretly, she enjoyed these nights just as much [if not more] as his parents did. His dad always made sure she was still doing well, he always seemed to worry about her. That really made her feel like she was apart of the family.

As she sat there, at the counter where they had shared so many meals, she couldn't help but miss him terribly. Remembering all the times she had sat in that very spot waiting for him to get home from work made her want to cry. Fore she knew, that tonight, she wouldn't hear his radio thumping up the driveway, she wouldn't hear the "click" of his key unlocking the front door as he entered the house, and she wouldn't hear him call her name as he walked into the kitchen to find her waiting with a smile.

At these thoughts, the tears no longer could be held within the brim of her eyelids and the dam of her tear ducts broke. As much as she knew in her heart he was doing what was best for him and his life [and she would never stand in the way of that]. Her heart still longed to have him back with her. She just simply missed him terribly.